Monday, August 2, 2010

Book Review ~ Voices of the True Woman Movement, Chapter 3

Chapter 3 - You've Come a Long Way, Baby!
by Mary A. Kassian

     The title of this chapter came from a cigarette ad geared toward females in the late 1960s.  The lie that this ad was pushing and that women bought into during that time period was that they could decide for themselves what was right.  No other authority, besides themselves, could decide what was right or best for them, including God. Mary states that women have come a long way in the past fifty years but that's not necessarily a good thing.  We're definitely not living in the Leave It to Beaver times any more.

June supervises the boys and their friends, To...Image via Wikipedia

     So many of the world's ideals have drastically changed in the past 50 years due to the feminist movement.  Prior to this new thinking, most men and women agreed on and accepted the differences of the roles of men and women.  Mary writes, "Furthermore, for both men and women, their sense of duty and responsibility to family was greater than the pursuit of personal fulfillment."  This is one change that is completely evident in our society today.  Families today, many times, are living under the same roof, yet they all have their own personal pursuits separate from one another.

     Going back over this chapter, I found a few of Mary's quotes that really caused me to lament over where feminism has taken us...
  • "In the new worldview, men are whiny, needy, not too bright, and totally unreliable."
  • "Whether or not you know it or care to admit it, feminism is a philosophy that has profoundly affected virtually every woman, man, and child alive in the Western world today."
  • Simone de Beauvoir, a female French philosopher in the 1950s, "proposed that in order to gain equality with men, women needed to get out of the home and intentionally deconstruct Judeo-Christian ideas about marriage, motherhood, and morality."
  • American political activist and journalist, Betty Friedan, followed de Beauvoir's beliefs suggesting that "a woman could only be fulfilled if she had a life plan that included education, a career, and work that was of "serious importance to society." "
  • "Once woman accepted this basic premise of needing and trusting no other authority than her own, she set her foot on a path that would rapidly take her - and ultimately the whole of society - in a direction diametrically opposed to the heart and purposes and ways of God."        

     While I disagree with this frame of thinking that originated around 50 years ago, many in our world today completely embrace it.  They have bought into the lie that external things can fill a void that only the God of the universe can fill.  "The heart of true womanhood is to understand and agree with the purposes of our Creator," Mary writes.  I concur.        

     If you are interested in finding out more about this book, go to  I have also reviewed the first two chapters which you can find at the links below:
     Chapter 1 -
     Chapter 2 -


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  1. A Vision of Submission and Love

    I had been in search of what i then called the "church" for a number of years prior to my receiving the vision that i will now share with you. In that "search" i heard many preach and speak of the need for "husbands to love their wives".

    Ephesians 5:25 was the prime reference for such preaching. "Husbands, love your wives, even as The Messiah also loved the ecclesia(church), and gave Himself for it."

    "Love" is not a husband and wife sharing their natural affection for one another, which is referred to as "coming together again" in 1 Corinthians7:5.

    And Eph 5:25 was preached and preached, again and again, and i wondered, "why is it that Ephesians 5:25 was recorded after and not before 5:22", and "why is it no one preaches a message concerning those verses just prior to Ephesians 5:25"?

    Eph 5:22-25 "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Master(Lord). For the husband is the head of the wife, even as The Messiah is the Head of the ecclesia(church), and He is the saviour of the body. Therefore, as the ecclesia is subject unto The Messiah, so let the wives be subject unto their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as The Messiah also loved the ecclesia, and gave Himself for it".

    Well the "why no one preaches concerning the verses just prior to Eph 5:25" was readily answered as i began to recognize the manipulative processes used by women who desired to dominate the men folk within their particular ecclesia. And yes, that domination began at the "home". However the question of verse order, "why verses 5:22-24 prior to verse 5:25?" was one thing i still could not comprehend.

    And today i yet remain thankful to GOD that i could not comprehend the verse order because that caused me to cry unto HIM for understanding, and HE provided such understanding in a vision, a revelation!

    In the vision there were two hands, a right hand and a left hand. And there was a person running about, to and fro in the left hand, and it was revealed the left hand was mine and that the one running about, to and fro, in the left hand was "I" in days that were thankfully long since gone. Days when "I" was "doing my own thing" seeking my own way, self-willed indeed and Truth.

    And the right hand in the vision?

    It was revealed that the right hand in the vision represented The Hand of GOD!

    It was then revealed that in those times past, when i was seeking to "do my own thing", sadly, i did not know that GOD loved me. "I" did not know GOD. "I" was my 'god'.

    Then by the Grace of GOD, the time came when HE revealed HIMSELF unto me.

  2. And then HE led me to HIS Son, and HIS Son, The Messiah, led me back to the One i once knew as "GOD". However, the One i had known only as my "GOD", i now knew as "Our Father"! The GOD and Father of The Messiah was now Our GOD and Our Father!

    All Thanks, Glory And Praise Be Unto "Our Father"!

    Then it was revealed that when i submitted unto Our GOD, when i was delivered from my own hand, seeking my own will, and into HIS Hand, desiring HIS Will, it was at that moment i knew HE Loved me.

    Yes, Our GOD and Father even Loved me when i was not submitted unto HIM, yet "I" could not experience, receive, or believe HE Loved me until "I" submitted unto HIM, HIS Will, HIS Way!

    And then it was revealed that it is the same with a husband and wife.

    When the wife submits, only then does she realize that her husband truly loves her. Oh, he loved her all the time, it's just that she could not believe, receive, or experience the love her husband had for her until she submitted unto him.

    And so the simplicity of, and the need for, the "verse order" was revealed.

    Apart from submission, Love can not be received, GOD to Messiah, Messiah to man and man to woman. Love is given, yet only in submission can Love be received.

    Men and women are not the "same" and Thank GOD for the difference. "Our Father" has HIS Order, "HE is The HEAD of The Messiah, The Messiah is the Head of the man, and man is the head of the woman".(ICor11:3) So why question "The ONE GOD, Father of ALL"? Apart from the Spirit of GOD, The Spirit of Truth, women rule over men, and as they seek and desire to dominate, they scream, "you don't love me, you don't love me"! For until a wife submits unto her husband she can not receive and experience the Love her husband was given, to give unto her.

    Yet there is hope for such women, and the men that are dominated.

    There is Hope that there would be those who "see"!

    For Miracles do happen!

    Hope is there will be those who experience The Miracle that is receiving "love of The Truth" for they will "see" that The Only True GOD is a GOD of Order not dis-order, and The Life is only realized by those who submit too, and abide in, HIS Order.

    Father Help! and HE does.......

    Thankfully Our Father, HE yet communes with HIS Children.......

    Peace, in spite of the dis-ease(no-peace) and dis-order that is of this wicked world, for "the WHOLE world is under the control of the evil one"(1 John 5:19) indeed and Truth.......

    Truth IS, a lie is not.......

    Abide in The Truth.......

  3. What you said about submission being a prerequisite for love to be received is seriously thought provoking. I actually have never thought about it that way but I can see how that would be so. Yes, the world is controlled by the evil one but those who belong to the God of the universe are not. What a blessing that is!

  4. Your response was much appreciated.

    However, i want make it clear that what "i said" was revealed to me in the vision that i received from The GOD(Creator)of Heaven and Earth.

    May there be those who embrace Creation's Genius and "Come Out" of this wicked, evil world for it's god is "the author of confusion(dis-order)", he who is "the father of lies", and "every evil work".......

    Yes submission needs be before Love can be received.......

    Father Help! and HE does.......

    And the vision also revealed the need for a husband to submit unto his Head, The Messiah, before he can give his wife the Love she truly needs.

    Our Father, HE Will supply all our needs.......

    And as The Messiah testified, so also must men and women realize The Truth of, "i can do nothing of mine own self".......

    Father Help! and HE does.......

    Believe i am to post another testimony here regarding submission and which i have been given permission to publish.

  5. Confessions of a Former Feminist:

    I am 47 now, menopause and middle age solidly upon me. Still, being a woman remains a challenge; being a new woman, "a new thing on the earth who encompasses a man" (Jer 31:22), the greatest challenge. No kidding. Is it any wonder that it would be all but impossible for a man to rule over a woman these days, with her giving voluntary surrender to his heart, thus fulfilling her created purpose? (Gen 3:16). Not only that, but also doing her part to restore the universe in the process? (Rev 12:1). Woman is the key, but feminists won't like the recipe.

    When I was a little girl around nine years old, I learned how to avoid little boys who gave me a hard time. I didn't like being chased and caught, teased and made the center of attention. It hurt. I did something about it. I did my best to avoid situations like that. It worked pretty well.

    I went to private schools for girls and to a woman's college. In social settings, I only dealt with men whom I wanted to relate to and I did so on my terms. I cherished my heart and my feelings. I didn't want to spend them on anything but the real thing. During the rise of feminism in the '70s and '80s (in my twenties and thirties), I judged that I had done the wise and right thing to protect myself. I thought I had fared well in guarding myself from being unnecessarily hurt by men. I could cite a litany of my relationships, feeling like I had come out the other side relatively unscathed.

    But as the years pass and the love of my husband brings healing to my life, I am only just beginning to realize some of the hurts that I caused men in the process. I had no idea, and what's worse, I don't even remember thinking about it.

    I have been a new woman (Havah Hadashah) and a disciple of The Messiah for twelve years now. As time moves on, the scales are being lifted from my eyes and I am seeing more and more clearly how I have been deceived by schemes of evil, contrary to God, and how women today are probably the most deceived women of all time. To be deceived means to believe something to be true that is not true, even though you believe it with all your heart. Being deceived is the sin of Eve and of all women. It is sin because we are all accountable for what and who we believe (Proverbs 17:4). Do we trust good or evil, truth or lies? Eve doubted God's goodness toward her and fallen women continue to do the same, trusting in their own understanding rather than leaning on God and man. It is not theory; it is reality. Look around you — can you see it everywhere?

    I'll give you just one example of a deception that plagued me for years and I didn't even know it. It is near and dear to my heart. When I was twenty-two, I suddenly fell madly in love when I least expected it. It was mutual. He was a few years younger and it took us both by surprise. It lasted a few months and then "puff!" — he was gone. It vanished faster than it arrived. I was devastated. It caused me great pain for years and I never could figure out what happened, no matter how much I pined away over it. I believed our love was true and I was utterly perplexed at what caused the bottom to drop out of it. We had no fight, no falling out, no final phone call — just "puff!"

    Communication about it just didn't or couldn't happen. I never could reach any resolve in myself about it. Occasionally I would see him around. Mystified as I was by the whole thing, my tender heart toward him remained. I never felt distant or estranged or bitter, just severed. We had not been unkind to each other. (continued)

  6. Yes, the only good we can do does not come from ourselves for we are sinfully wicked and the only good in us is the Holy Spirit working in us and through our lives. Praise the Lord for that truth! The only way we can truly see our own wickedness is by Him causing us to see! Thanks for sharing.

  7. The years came and went. He married. When I saw a photograph of his bride in the newspaper, I knew he did not love her. Then the decades came and went. We had a few good conversations about life, never really about us. He divorced, moved on in his work, remarried. The warmth between us was never absent on the very rare occasion that we would cross paths.

    A few years back my husband and I were talking. He told me he thought that this particular relationship took a chunk out of my life that I never recovered from. He didn't know how or why; he just sensed it. I knew it was the truth. I was surprised how he could single it out like that because the relationship had lasted only a few months. He wanted to help me. He wanted me to recover. He was not threatened. He always trusts my love and need for him. We talked in detail. He told me it was pretty simple what happened twenty years ago — I had devastated my old love when I said no to getting married. It was more than he could handle. The human heart was not meant to "handle" such things.

    "I wasn't ready." " It didn't mean I didn't love him." " My parents couldn't take it." On and on. I had many reasons. But the fact is that I was as much "in love" with him as I knew how to be back then and it had never once, not in twenty-some years, occurred to me that I had hurt him like that, that I had driven him away by my unwillingness to become his wife.

    I felt so stupid and so bad. I broke down crying when I finally saw what had happened and faced the reality of how I had hurt him. I knew his life had not been particularly happy. I had such deep regret in me for hurting his heart, his loving heart that I thought I had treasured. The spirit of the times deceived me to think something else was more important — my life, my career, my selfish ambition. I trusted it. I believed a lie, but nevertheless I am the one responsible for what I did. It has taken me twenty-five years to see how our "free love" cost a lot — a whole lot.

    So last year, after 24 years, I looked him up, went to his place of business, walked in the door and said I had something to tell him. He was stunned and not unhappy to see me. He made the time and we laughed. I confessed to him what I had just learned, telling him how embarrassed I was never to have realized my own selfishness and insensitivity. I repented to him in tears for hurting him, for not trusting the depth of his heart toward me enough to lean my life on him. I had used him and didn't even know it. All along I had unconsciously presumed that he was as selfish as I was. I was very wrong. He was in stunned disbelief that I never knew why he stopped coming around. He stared right at me, right through me and out the other side saying, "I thought you knew. I thought you knew you were the one that ended it. I loved you." I assured him in utter shame that what I was telling him was the truth. We both cried and smiled. I don't think the pain of how I hurt him will ever be gone for me, but I know I am forgiven and rejoice that at least now I am beginning to see these ways as sin, confess them, and receive mercy.

  8. The problem between us was that our relationship went ahead of being in a covenant — a covenant of marriage. It is not the way it is supposed to be. Feminism doesn't teach you much, if anything, deeper than a woman's own self-interest. Feminism is a lie. It is a deceitful scheme designed to rob women and men both. Don't do to someone else what you don't want them to do to you. Remember? The Golden Rule. Why is it that women can fault what men do to them, but see it as their right to do the same thing back, or worse? Do you recall the popularity of the movie First Wives, glorifying revenge? It is an evil approach to life that cannot make anyone happy except those who glory in evil.

    Often women feel used by men sexually — after the fact. But if they didn't sleep with men whom they were not willing to surrender their lives to, then they would not get used in that way. Neither would men. The deception is that women don't face how seriously they hurt men in relationships — it is wicked that they justify it. It is just as evil as men misusing women. Both men and women forget that they will have to give account for how they relate to one another, not on their terms, but on God's, who designed the protected covenant of marriage where intimacy could be cherished and blessed.

    The sooner men and women realize they need each other to be men and women, according to God's created purpose (Gen 1:24-28), the better it will be — for everybody, including the children, the future adults on this planet. A man and a woman being one the way God intended — man ruling from a place of giving up his life for his wife, and woman surrendering totally to his love — is the beginning of restoration. It is the opposite of broken relationships. It is the foundation of wanted, procreated children who want to follow the vision of their parents, in pursuit of love.

    "I've looked at love from both sides now, from up and down, and still somehow it's love's illusions I recall. I really don't know love at all." There was truth in these '60s lyrics. No one can know love if he only loves himself. I am happy to be learning how to love for real and to walk in the forgiveness of the One who poured out His life for me when I don't. My husband leads me on that path and I am so glad I could see past the fears and the lies of feminism to surrender to his love, without reserve. It is wonderful to be a woman learning what my created purpose is. I have no regrets in that act of trusting.

    To trust is the most feminine and most godly and most radical act a woman can do. Restoration must come through woman, through her voluntary surrender. The sorrow that I know is that which comes from the damage and pain I caused others in only trusting myself. I'm glad there is an alternative, a way to be forgiven and have a new life where I can learn to love and be loved, for real.

    ~ Havah

  9. Havah, I just want to thank you for sharing and pouring out your heart to others who might read this and be changed because of your humility and honesty. It is definitely an amazing thing to be loved, for real. Without Christ in our lives, we cannot know that kind of true love - real love. I trust God will use your honesty to open the eyes of others who hear your story. Again, thanks for sharing.



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Artwork by John Bell copyright 1998-2007 used with permission